In the past couple of weeks, I have changed just about every aspect of my life: I've moved to a new place, moved in with girls I didn't know previously, switched wards, quit my full-time job, started a new part-time job, and started attending school again full-time for the first time in over seven years. For someone who thrives on stability and serenity, it's been quite the uprooting, and today it has me pensive.
Venturing into the unknown is a little difficult for me, and it may not seem like much to some, but to change so many aspects of my life all at once was a challenge for me. Starting graduate school has been over a year in the making, and walking around campus now is a little surreal for me for a couple of reasons. One is because it has taken some time and preparation to get here, and the other is because I remember what it was like as an undergraduate to be here, and I feel like I'm not the same person who walked that campus back then. Many people seem so young to me, and I wonder whether I fit into that scene that was once my comfort and stability a few years ago. I wonder if it matters if I do. It's taking some adjustment to dive into the world of academe where they expect us to be scholars and not just students, and hoping I live up to what the professors seem to think I am very capable of doing.
I like to have a plan for where I'm going, and having a pretty unknown future (except for the next couple of years) have me feeling like a new freshman again in some ways. As is so often the case, I was reminded of one of my favorite General Conference talks of all time recently, "An High Priest of Good Things to Come" by Elder Holland. His story at the end struck me differently this time because while his family circumstances were very different than mine, I find myself venturing off to school once again, and I can relate to attempting to look to the future, not really knowing what I'll find. His words at the end, "There is help and happiness ahead--a lot of it. . . . Trust God and believe in good things to come," once again remind me that Christ is our high priest of good things to come--in so many ways.
Similarly, the words of President Monson have been on my mind a lot lately: "The future is as bright as your faith." God can perform miracles in our lives, and is willing to, as long as our faith remains firm. It's nice to know the Lord is there for us, even if our worries are minuscule compared to so many others. It's a great comfort to me, at least. So there you have my musings of today.
4 comments:
I knew there was some change, but wow, that's a lot of change. :) There seems to be several of us out there going through some serious life changing lately, and it has me intrigued. It just makes me wonder (and excited) about what the future holds for all of us. I'm sure it's some sort of preparation for something great, or challenging, or something, but the things we are learning and the fears and insecurities that we are overcoming are going to make all the difference in the world.
I love your perspective. thanks!!
Maurianne, I am so excited for your new future! I think if anyone is ready to conquor a new kind of life, it is you! Even though I am totally bummed that you don't work at CK anymore, {a bragging right I had to my friends!} I am so impressed with your new plans! I am excited to hear all about the new changes in your life soon! Good luck with everyone-I loved this blog post!
That is my favorite Elder Holland talk--EVER. It has been a comfort to me over the years to know that he has been there and really understands what we have gone through in our educational journey and life in general. You will be an excellent graduate student--I have full confidence in your ability to succeed. You are a truly amazing person and I love you!
Maurianne- I loved this post and am so excited for your new adventure! I think the Lord knows we all need a good exciting adventure every few years am glad your getting started on this new one! You're going to do amazing things!
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